4 Things That I’ve Realized While Being In Counseling.

I’ve been in counseling for almost two years now. It is the hardest thing I’ve had to do at times, but it’s also the most rewarding thing I have done for myself. Counseling and therapy is something I now believe that everyone should go to at least once, even if you don’t have a mental illness. It’s a great way to get clarity when you’re struggling and need advice. If you have a mental illness it’s great for processing through your feelings and gaining skills, and tools, to help when you are struggling. 

Today I wanted to share with you some reasons why I go to counseling, and am currently trying to find a therapist. I’ve learned a lot about myself in these two years than I ever have before, and probably never would have realized if I didn’t go to counseling. I hope my story and lessons can help you see that counseling can be good for you, and give you hope that things can get better. Here are 4 Things That I’ve Realized While Being In Counseling.

Small Steps Are Great Steps

In a perfect world I would go after all the things and accomplish them all at once, however, as I’m sure you know, we do not live in a perfect world. Sometimes my brain forgets to tell my heart that though. When you’ve been stuck in almost every area of your life for so long it’s hard to not want to work on every area at once. I get caught up in the big goals very easily. Lose 10 pounds, write 10 blog posts, read four books, apply to 20 jobs, etc.. 

My past counselors have helped me continue to remember that the power to change my life comes from the small steps I do consistently. Consistency being the key. This looks like eating a healthy breakfast for four days this week, write for 30 minutes each day, read every morning or night, apply to three jobs each day. Small steps like that is what I should be aiming for. I lost sight of that.

I’ve been trying to practice this as part of my Strong Girl Summer for the past two weeks and it has gone really well so far. I have finished a book and went from working out maybe once a week, to working out four to five days a week. I’m excited to see what progress I can continue to make doing this.

There Are Things To Love About Me

“We are our own worst critic. I feel this 100 percent of the time. I couldn’t tell you the amount of negative things I’ve said about myself or thought about myself. It can honestly feel really draining knowing that you aren’t just trying to find approval from other people, but from yourself to. What gets me is that I don’t appreciate what I am and I constantly wish I looked a certain way, acted a certain way, etc.. Instead of comparing myself to other people I’m comparing myself to this version of myself that doesn’t exist. That is almost worse than comparing myself to others I believe.

For years I’ve pushed away the good qualities and skills that I do have because it’s not what I wanted. I’m slowly starting to accept myself a little more and own who I am. I think this is the hardest out of any of the things I struggle with. It’s often the most draining counseling topic, but I know the work I’m putting in to love myself will be worth it.

I Don’t Give Myself Enough Credit

Another revelation I have had in counseling has been my inability to take a compliment and believe in myself. I didn’t realize this was as much of a problem as it is, but now that I do I’ve been trying to work on it. I tend to not believe people when they say something nice about me, or want to hang out with me. I constantly feel like people are “just being nice” or don’t really mean what they say, and even worse feel like they are obligated to hang out with me. 

The truth is that people don’t have to say or do anything they don’t want to do, just like I don’t have to say or do anything that I don’t want to. Given this truth I have been trying to let that sink in and believe it more. It will take some work, just like anything, but I know that one day I won’t second guess what people mean by saying something nice to me or second guess their motive to hang out with me. I’ll know in my heart that they truly do like me and enjoy my company.

I Am Not Who My Depression Says I Am

Above everything I have learned that my depression doesn’t get to tell my story. I’m continuing to fight for my mental wellbeing and persevere to become the person I’m meant to be, and I hope you do that for you as well. There is no denying that it is hard, but it’s worth it.

It’s been quite a journey, and I am still trekking on that journey, but I know one day I’ll achieve the destination of 100% self acceptance and self love, and you will too. Keep going friends, the world needs your story!