Confessions of a Broke Fat Girl Who Feels Stuck At A Crossroads
I hope that title doesn’t scare you away. I was debating about if I wanted my first post on this new blog to be called that. Normally I’m used to sugar coating things and this title definitely isn’t sugar coating it. So why did I choose this title? Well because I feel that it is a good summary of both what I’m going through and what this blog will be about. I’ll explain in a little more detail further down, but first, let’s back up a little.
Hi, my name is Kelly. I’m a 20 something girl who loves setting goals, anything that sparkles and glitters, and listening to music at all times. To learn more about me feel free to check out my About page. Now that you know who I am I bet you want to know what you have stumbled upon by visiting this blog. Let me break that down for you simply by breaking down the title of my first post.
Broke
Did I think I would be making my dream income at this age? No of course not, but it was still tough entering the real world suddenly realizing all the expenses that come along with it, and I haven’t even fully experienced all of that yet! Not to mention I have a bad habit of spending and not saving. I really need to cancel some of the subscriptions I have lol. The good news is that I am taking steps to improve this bad habit and improve my finances.
Fat
I actually can’t stand this word. I don’t like to hear someone say this word, whether it’s directly about me or someone else, but I’m okay with calling myself this word. Why is that? I think it comes from the saying, “you are your own worst critic.” Of course I would be okay with calling myself fat because I always view myself in the worst way possible. That should come as no surprise to me. I want to start becoming kinder to myself, I have been working on that through self-care.
I’ve been overweight for most of my life. High-school and college consisted of yo-yo dieting having some success to only find myself giving up a few weeks or a few months into a new diet, then try again in another few months. I’ll go into more detail about my weight loss journey in a future post. Right now I am happy to say I started this journey a little over a year ago and I am still trucking along. This will be the time that I will get healthy! I am confident in this!
“Feels”
I struggle with depression. Through the years I have learned that I will always have depression, but I don’t have to let it define me. I can learn ways to cope and overcome my depressive episodes. That will always be a learning process for me. Over the past few years I have learned that it is healthy to share these struggles. Not just for me but for others too. You can be the lightbulb in someone else’s darkness. I have had several people/blog posts/YouTube videos be my lightbulb and I want to pay it forward by being someone else’s lightbulb. Mental health doesn’t have to be a stigma. The more we talk about it, the less alone others will feel. That is why I plan on including my mental health story in this blog.
Stuck At A Crossroads
This is a big one. I love hearing stories of 20-somethings that jump right into their purpose and know exactly where their life is heading. Part of me is shouting “you go girl/boy,” but a small part of me is a little jealous. I wish it wasn’t that way but I have to be honest. I just want to have a conversation with them and ask, “what’s your secret.” If you haven’t guessed it by now I’m one of the 20-somethings that have no clue where I’m headed. I’m at a crossroads, as much as I would rather not be. I have faith in someone that already knows where I’m headed. That someone is God. I know that whatever I’m feeling right now, He isn’t worried because He knows I am headed for greatness, and I trust in that. That doesn’t mean I get to just sit back and wait for God to sort everything out. I get to meet Him in the middle and actively try to find my calling and purpose with the help of His guidance.
There you have it. You have just been introduced to what content I’ll be sharing on my blog. You’ll see me lose weight, share my mental health story, and navigate through the rest of my 20s. I’ll share my favorite tips, recipes, workouts, books, and of course songs; because this would not be classified as my blog unless I incorporate music somehow…
Let me know what you are most looking forward to in the comments.
