Looking Back To Move Forward: A Weight Loss Failure Story

I knew I had hit a new low when I went into a store, because I forgot something in a previous store, and had to talk myself out of buying more candy. I already had a bag of Easter candy, that I bought impulsively, from the previous store that I had started eating right before I got out of the car. Why was it so hard to turn away from grabbing a candy bar? I guess I had gotten so used to grabbing a snack when I go shopping and didn’t realize how big of a bad habit I had formed from this. 

Wasn’t I supposed to be on a weight-loss journey? I buy all the things, I meal prep and plan my workouts, so why do I end each week day promising myself I’m going to do better? I’ve almost gained back all the weight I’ve lost through this journey. This is mostly due to the fact that I can’t seem to stop eating. More specifically I can’t stop eating junk food. I eat when I’m hungry sure, but I also seem to eat just to eat as well, whether I’m hungry or just upset or bored. To make it worse I hardly workout anymore either.

I’m disgusted with myself for how low I have brought myself down in such a short amount of time. Yet somehow there is still a small glimmer of hope that I can push past this. I don’t want this to be the end of my story, I don’t want to prove those that don’t believe in me right. I don’t want to prove that nagging voice in my head right most of all. 

Why Are You Telling Me All This?

You probably came to this corner of the blog for an inspiring success story and motivation to begin your journey as well. If that is you and you are still reading this, I commend you. I promise this post is going to turn around. I may not be able to offer a success story, but I am going to share my process for redirecting my journey. If you are just starting your weight loss journey, this may help you avoid some of the pitfalls you could encounter. If you have hit a roadblock in your journey, or have given up, hopefully, my story will encourage you to try again as well. We can stand back up together! There are two major steps I’m taking. I’ll expand on each of them.

Step 1: Looking Back

I started becoming serious about my weight loss journey at the end of 2016, and I started in January 2017. I’m going on four years of this and the most I’ve lost has been 35 pounds. I had a decent start, so I decided to look back at what I was doing then, and why I started getting serious in the first place.

The Doctor’s Visit

The whole reason I started taking my weight loss seriously was because of one doctor’s visit. I went in thinking I was just going to be prescribed depression medication, and I came out with an added diagnosis of pre-diabetes. Even though I have been overweight most of my life, I have been fortunate in not having any major health problems because of it. So when I heard the word pre-diabetes it became the wake-up call I needed. I was no longer wanting to lose weight because I wanted to look a certain way. I needed to lose weight for my health. That became my why.

The Competition

Through a good part of the beginning of my weight loss journey, I was involved in monthly competitions. These competitions took place in a Facebook group, and I loved it. It gave me accountability but it was also fun. I may not have won a lot but I kept coming back every month. I didn’t realize until now how much I miss the gamification of my weight loss journey.

The Videos

I started my weight loss journey by committing to documenting my journey. Every three months I would put a video together reviewing everything I went through, learned from, and had success with. Then I would post the videos on Facebook, both for accountability and to inspire others. The past two years I haven’t been as consistent with it. In 2018 I only did a year in review video. Last year I only went through the first half of the year.

The Motivation Wall

I created a motivation wall by printing out my progress photos each month. They surrounded two strings of clothespins. One was pounds lost and the other was pounds to go. I loved looking at that when I needed inspiration. At a point in time we thought we may be moving so I took it all down. It turns out we didn’t move at that time, but I never fully set my motivation wall back up. Now that we fully have moved, I still haven’t made another one yet.

Step 2: Looking Forward

Now that I have looked back and rediscovered my why. It’s time to incorporate that into my main focus again. I want to know what success looks like. So here is what I’m doing next.

• Recreating A Motivation Wall: It’s time to recreate my wall of inspiration. That way each day I can look at how far I’ve come.
• Wearing My Intentional Bracelet Again: My word of the year is intentional. I bought a bracelet that had the word on it so that I had a visual reminder of my goals. For some reason I had stopped wearing it. I now have put it back on.
• Meal-Tracking Again-FULLY: I have struggled so much with meal tracking. It’s not that I want to get to a point where I do it obsessively. I just want to track for a few months to get an idea of what my nutrition looks like, and what areas I need to improve in. I am hoping to be more consistent about it throughout the whole day.
• Joining A Competition: I don’t consider myself a majorly competitive person. However, a little competition can be fun and motivating, especially with weight loss. I think moving forward I’m going to try a DietBet.
• Videoing My Journey Again: I didn’t realize how much I missed this until I watched the old ones. I’ve got a tabletop tripod now, so I’ll be able to make better quality videos now. I’m considering putting them on YouTube. If that’s something you think I should do let me know down in the comments.
• Utilizing The Power Of Social Media: I’ve got a few different accountability groups that I am in. I haven’t been as active in them as of late. That is something I want to change.
• Stop Letting My Mind Control The Journey: That inner critic has run the show for too long. I used to get up every morning and workout. Now, at the time of me writing this, I’m lucky if I can get three workouts done through the week. I’ve been seeing a counselor so I think she will be able to show me how to do this.

via GIPHY

I truly believe that looking back has helped me refocus on why I began this journey in the first place. Here’s to hoping my next weight loss update will be a lot more positive. If you have hit a roadblock in your journey, I want to encourage you to think back to when you started. Why did you decide to go on this journey? What did you do when you had that beginning momentum?

If you are just starting your journey, try to find someone you can chat with about their journey that has been where you are. See how they have stuck with the journey, or get back up when they stumbled. Learn from their story.

Whether you are starting again, like me, or just beginning, please make sure you are doing so in a healthy way. Consult a doctor to determine a plan that is right for you, and if you suspect you may have an eating disorder seek help.

Have you had any weight-loss setbacks before? How did you overcome them? Let me know in the comments below.

*Disclaimer: You should always consult a doctor before participating in any exercise or diet program. I am by no means a professional. All advice given on this blog comes from my personal experience in my own weight loss journey and is intended for informational purposes only.