Why Self-Love Is So Hard For Me

February 4, 2020

Warning: This is going to be a vulnerable post!

I don’t know if this warning is as much for you, the reader, or for me. Being vulnerable is hard for me, especially on a topic like self-love. Even though I know the sentences I’m about to write are going to be hard, they are necessary. 

  • They are necessary for the girl who feels alone and not sure where to turn. 
  • They are necessary for the person that feels like they have nothing to offer the world.
  • They are necessary for the girl who knows she will never look/be like the celebrity on the magazine, or the YouTuber she loves to watch, but she wishes that she was someone else any way.

So here goes…

Why I Don’t Love Myself

I don’t love myself on most days. It’s not so much as I don’t like the person that I see in the mirror physically, while that does play a part of my story. My main struggle with self-love is how I see myself in other ways. My personality is what specifically comes to mind. Would I like to be thinner, absolutely, however I would much rather like to be known as being outgoing, funny, adventurous, etc.. I’d rather be good at things other than what I’m known for. Basically, most days, I wish I was someone else. 
Most of these issues come from a place of comparison, but how do you handle comparison when it’s not even coming from a real person? I don’t typically compare myself to other people as much as I compare myself to a version of me that doesn’t even exist. Let’s call it Dream Kelly. Dream Kelly is almost a polar opposite of who I actually am. This makes the battle even harder, because there is no inching my way to the better qualities I want. I’d become an entirely different person if I became the person I wanted to be. Ysx

It’s hard for me to accept that there are already good qualities I possess. I don’t need to become a new person for my life to have value. My head knows this but my heart doesn’t know how to pay attention. Can anyone else relate? 

How I’m Working On Self-Love

One thing I do know is that in order to start loving myself my perspective needs to change. Instead of focusing on what I lack, it’s time that I focus on what I have. This isn’t going to be easy but I have to try.

Each day this month, in addition to the journal prompts, I am going to reflect on something I love about myself. By the end of the month I’ll have 29 reasons why I should love myself. I want to invite you to do the same. My hope is that by focusing on the positive, the negative will exit my thoughts. 

Working on improving my love for myself isn’t just something I thought would distract me from all the talk of love this month. There are many other benefits. The benefits I’m looking forward to the most is better health. Check out other benefits of self-love here.

Do you love yourself? What is stopping you from loving yourself if you don’t? If you haven’t joined the Love Myself 2020 challenge yet, it’s not too late. Download your e-book to start journaling. you need a little extra help with self-love? Join me in writing down one thing you love about yourself each night. If we put all our effort into this, by the end of the month we are going to have a much more positive view of ourselves.

Self-love e-book

This post is a part of the Love Myself 2020 challenge. Go follow Sam from Here I Mum Again, Morgan from Chica Confident, Jessica from Sweet & Spicy Essentials, Katie from Between The Lines and Ruth from Colourful Hope, for more self-love/self-care content. If you’ve missed any of our posts so far, catch up here.


Healthy Eats: Valentine’s Day Edition

How setting goals is vital for SelfCare/SelfLove (via Here I Mum Again)

5 Ways Busy Entrepreneurs Can Keep the Passion Alive in their Relationships (via Chica Confident)

Why Self-Love Is So Hard For Me (you are here).

Comments (5)

  • Jessica

    February 4, 2020 at 6:02 am

    You have so much to offer, Kelly. Keep on doing exactly what you’re doing and before you know it you will be all the things you dream of being. You are smart and kind and brave and are kicking $&@! on this challenge. Great post from the heart!

    1. KellyC123

      February 8, 2020 at 6:00 pm

      Aww thank you!

  • Sam Gravener

    February 10, 2020 at 9:17 pm

    Well I think your blooming brilliant!
    You’re the girl who decided she wanted to put together a collaboration of self care bloggers to help others.
    Your the girl who wants to go dancing (even if the rain stopped you this time 😉 )
    Your the girl who bought 6 strangers together and made them friends.

    And so many other fantastic things! I could be here all night!

    1. KellyC123

      February 12, 2020 at 1:42 pm

      aww you are so sweet, thank you!

  • 30 Positive Affirmations For Self Love – ColourfulHope

    January 1, 2021 at 4:43 pm

    […] Why I Find Self Love Hard by Budding Joy […]

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